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THE PARIAHS LADIES AUXILIARY
 
 
The Few, The Proud - The Pariahs Ladies Auxiliary

The Pariahs Ladies Auxiliary is an elite group of women who have what it takes to endure a long-term, er... "romantic" relationship with a member of The Pariahs.

Contrary to popular belief, there is still an opening for new recruits to join this exciting organization! Johnny Pariah, lead (pronounced "led") guitarist for the band is currently a SWRS (Single White Rock Star) looking for that special lady.
TEEN HEART THROB JOHNNY PARIAH
John's interests include:
  1. Pornography
  2. Drinking
  3. Movies with chainsaws
  4. Misanthropy
  5. Anything that can make a really loud noise

Members of the Pariahs Ladies Auxiliary must:

  1. Enjoy spending time with drunken loudmouths
  2. Be fond of hanging around in smelly dives while their eardrums are shredded by terrible bands
  3. Be able to feign interest in latest musical "ideas" of The Pariahs
THE PARIAHS
In addition, the successful candidate will be willing to let John see her naked and possibly even allow him to touch her.

Applicants for membership in the Pariahs Ladies Auxiliary should send biographical details and nude photos* to:
Pariahs Fan-Club World Headquarters
c/o Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights
Geneva, Switzerland

* Note - nude photos can be of anybody you like
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