| Like most
of the other musicians we know (and many we don’t), The
Pariahs have had some pretty fucking weird day jobs, including
but not limited to making change for suburban mall rats at a
video arcade, telemarketing, tutoring English, chopping up chicken
parts on a band saw, delivering flowers and selling drugs. But
John is the all-time champeen of strange, low-paying jobs, having
toiled as a DJ and emcee in a number of Toronto’s skankier
adult entertainment establishments, where the uninhibited undress
for the unwashed. Hence we are fully qualified to enlighten
you with…
JOHNNY
PARIAH’S DEFINITIVE LIST OF THE TOP FIFTY STRIPPER SONGS
OF ALL TIME
- SLOW
RIDE – Foghat
- I’M
GONNA CRAWL – Led Zeppelin
- STIR
IT UP – Bob Marley
- UNDERNEATH
IT ALL – No Doubt
- CALLING
DR. LOVE – Kiss
- STRIPPED
– Rammstein
- STRAY
CAT BLUES – The Rolling Stones
- HARLEM
SHUFFLE – The Rolling Stones
- HOT
LEGS – Rod Stewart
- POCKET
ROCKET – Galore
- SO
WHATCHA WANT – The Beastie Boys
- NO
DIGGITY – Blackstreet
- PASTIES
AND A G-STRING – Tom Waits
- I NEED
SOMEBODY – The Stooges
- ROUGH
RIDER – The English Beat
- BEAUTIFUL
GIRLS – Van Halen
- LOOKS
THAT KILL – Motley Crue
- CHUNK
(PORT DOVER) – Junkhouse
- BRICK
HOUSE – The Commodores
- FIRE
– The Ohio Players
- LA
GRANGE – ZZ Top
- GIVE
IT AWAY – Red Hot Chilli Peppers
- TELL
ME SOMETHING GOOD – Rufus
- BLOOD
SUGAR SEX MAGICK – Red Hot Chilli Peppers
- SEX
AND CANDY – Marcy Playground
- CAN’T
GET NEXT TO YOU – Al Green
- PEACHES
– The Stranglers
- DO
ME, BABY - Prince
- QUEEN
OF PAIN – The Cramps
- FEVER
– Peggy Lee
- EDGE
OF THE WORLD – Faith No More
- BABY
GOT BACK – Sir Mix-A-Lot
- I PUT
A SPELL ON YOU – Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
- LOUD
LOVE – Soundgarden
- THE
STRIPPER – Burt Bacharach
- SIN
CITY – AC/DC
- MOVE
OVER – Janis Joplin
- TAHITIAN
MOON – Porno For Pyros*
- SWEET
EMOTION – Aerosmith
- KEEP
YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF – Georgia Satellites
- GIRLS,
GIRLS, GIRLS – Motley Crue
- OH
CAROLINA – Shaggy
- POUR
SOME SUGAR ON ME – Def Leppard
- MISSISSIPPI
QUEEN – Mountain
- CHINESE
SURPRIZE – Latin Playboys
- NIGHTCLUBBING
– Iggy Pop and David Bowie
- FANTASTIC
VOYAGE – Lakeside
- FLOWER
– Moby
- SLEEPWALK
– Santo and Johnny
- I FEEL
LOVE – Donna Summer
…and
pretty much the entire recorded output of Barry White.
*Lilly
at Filmores is solely responsible for the inclusion of this
song. And yes, Loaf, the restraining order is still in effect.
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